Most of these activities can be done with one or two parents, and some work well with more participants. Consider engaging the whole family in some attachment-based play! Each activity can be repeated several times in one sitting, and can be repeated over time. If a child has gained mastery in a game, some games, such as clapping games, can be altered to increase complexity or to go faster or slower, to add variety and challenge as needed. These activities come from a variety of sources. They are listed in alphabetical order.

All Around the Garden

Adult traces a circle on child’s hand singing:

“All around the garden like a little mouse”

Then walks their fingers up the child’s arm singing:

“One step, two step”

Then runs their fingers up the arm for a gentle tickle under the chin with:

“In your little house”

(T R)

Baby Powder Hand or Foot Prints

Lightly powder the child’s hands or feet and make prints on black or dark paper. (T)

Blindfold Touch Walk

Child is blindfolded. One adult stands on one side with their hands on the child’s wrist and arm, and another adult is on the other with a hand on the child’s wrist and arm. Parents walk with the child around the room. Parents take turns having the child touch different objects and child guesses what they are touching. Have the child eventually touch the parent’s hair or skin and guess. If appropriate (child is old enough/safe enough), parent and child can change places. This activity requires a level of trust and is usually better a little later in the development of your relationship with your child. (T)

Body Part Sounds

This one can be good for the reluctant child. The parent might discover that when they touch the child’s foot it makes a “ring-a-ling” sound, and when they touch their nose it “beeps”, etc. (T)

Breathe Together

Parent and child hold hands. Parent leads and as they raise their hands, they breath in, and as they lower their hands, they breath out. Parent can coach “nice deep breaths”. This is also good for teaching deep breathing. (T R M)

Clapping Games

Patty Cake, Double Double, or any other child clapping game will work. In these games you have non-threatening touch, rhythm and mirroring all at the same time! This can be done three ways with two parents and the child clapping together; or just between one parent and child. You can find any number of clapping games online. (T R M)

Clap Patterns

Parent starts by clapping a pattern. The child repeats the pattern in a call/response pattern. After parent takes a few turns, the child takes a turn to lead. (T R M)

Comparing Body Parts

A very simple game in which the parent and child compare the size or other aspects of body parts. For instance, putting hands up against each other’s and seeing how big/small each is, or seeing how high child’s head reaches on parents’ body, etc. Can also compare color, shape, freckles, etc. Can also introduce past and future orientation by saying things like, “I can remember when your hand was even smaller than this?” or “I bet you will grow up to be even taller than me someday!” (T M)

Eye Blink Pattern

Have the child look at the adult in the eye while the adult blinks a pattern (i.e., blink pause blink blink). The child then blinks the pattern back to the adult. The child can then have a turn to initiate the pattern. Very young children may find this too difficult. (E M)

Eye Color Guess

Therapist tells parent and child, “Close your eyes and don’t look!”

Then, “Now, without looking, Mom, can you tell me what color (child’s) eyes are?”

“(To child) can you tell me what color your mom’s eyes are?”

“OK, now open your eyes and take a look and see if you are right!”

Parent and child now look at each other’s eyes.

“Can you see any other colors?”

This is a one time activity, often done early in the course of therapy, that encourages non-threatening eye contact. (E)

Fast/Slow Clapping

The leader starts clapping at a steady pace, others clap with the leader. The leader then varies the pace of the clapping, faster and slower, while the others follow. Participants take turns being leader. (R M)

Feeling Faces

One person makes a face depicting an emotion, while looking at the other person. The other person copies that face and guesses the emotion. This can also be done in a group where the face is passed around the group. It is then the next person’s turn. This is good, not only as a play activity, but also to help children identify emotions. (E M)

Follow-the-Leader

This can be done moving around the room in different ways, or it can be played while sitting down where you move your hands (i.e. clapping, patting your thighs, etc.) and possibly head in a rhythmic pattern. I usually make changes on counts of four, or multiples of four, making it easier to follow. The child can have a turn to be leader after the adults. ( R M)

Gentle Touch

A very simple game to be used with children of all ages. I have at times used it every session as a closing to the play part of the session. Parent touches the child appropriately, gently, and child touches the parent back in the same way. It is then the child’s turn to touch the parent in some appropriate way and the parent touches back in the same way. Repeat a number of times. (T M)

Hand Squeeze Message

Good for three or more people. All participants hold hands in a circle. The first person squeezes the hand of a person next to them in some kind of pattern such as “squeeze squeeze pause squeeze squeeze”. That person passes the squeeze pattern on to the next person in the group and it goes around the circle back to the first person who says if it comes back the same as it went out. Even if it comes back completely different than it started, much positive feedback is given, “Yay! good try! Let’s try the other direction!” I often instruct participants to close their eyes, or at least not watch the squeezing as it goes around the circle. I also instruct them to keep the pattern simple, usually no more than 5 to 7 squeezes, depending on the age/ability of the group. (T)

Hand Squeeze Pattern

Adult and child face each other holding hands. Adult starts and squeezes a pattern, i.e., left, left, right, right. Child squeezes back the same pattern. Participants can be instructed to maintain eye contact throughout, if desired. Then it is the child’s turn. (T E M)

Hand Stack

Each person puts a hand in the stack and then their other hand, in the same order, so all the hands are stacked up. Then the person with their hand on the top moves it to the bottom, the next person does the same, etc. Start out slow. At some point you can reverse the order and the hand on the bottom moves to the top of the stack. Usually this game picks up speed until there is fun chaos. (T)

Itsy Bitsy Spider

Sing the classic song, but parent and child do movements together, i.e., each uses a hand and they work together to do the movement for the ‘spider’ moving up the water spout. This is tricky. Better for a little older child. (T R)

Mirrors

Child and parent face each other. First the adult moves slowly and child follows, mirroring the adult, then the child leads. Parent and child can look into each other’s eyes the whole time, and see if they can move together so that an observer cannot tell who is leading and who is following. This can be done either standing, using the whole body, or sitting just using hands and head movements. (E M)

Mother May I

This is best with two adults, one being the “caller” and the other advancing with the child. It is played the usual way, but directions include things like, “hug your child and take one step forward” or “move up to where your mother is and give her a high five”. If child is sent back to start, I invariably give direction to parent, “go back to start, take your child’s hand, and bring him X number of steps forward”. Complexity of directions depend on age and ability of the child. I always have them reach me at the same time. Parent then gets a turn to direct. In this game, I never give the child a turn to direct, saying they are too young to be the “mother,” thus maintaining the hierarchy. (T)

Motor Boat, Motor Boat

Participants stand in a circle holding hands. They move slowly in a circle singing, “motor boat, motor boat go so slow," they then pick up speed singing, “motor boat, motor boat go so fast," and finally, go even faster with “motor boat, motor boat step on the gas” until the parent calls “stop” and they freeze, then do the same thing in the opposite direction. (T R)

Peanut Butter – Jelly

One person says, “peanut butter,” the others reply with “jelly” mimicking the same intonation/speed etc. They do this a number of times changing tone, pitch, and speed. (M)

Peek-a-boo

Classic peek-a-boo. This is a good one to use when the child is shy and hiding their eyes. The adult can engage the child with a playful, “Where is __________. There he/she is!” as the adult discovers the child. They can then allow the child to hide again and repeat. If the child is strongly withdrawing the adult can give the child additional blankets, etc., to hide behind, thus going with, rather than against, the resistance, and maybe at first only discovering a foot or elbow. (E)

Ring Around the Rosie (almost)

Hold hands in a circle and move clockwise or counterclockwise while singing the traditional “Ring around the Rosie” song, BUT at the end instead of “we all fall down,” whoever is ‘it’ calls out a movement, such as “we all clap our hands” or “we all stamp our feet” and the participants engage in that movement, then it is the next person’s turn. (T R M)

Rock-a-bye- baby (almost)

Parent holds or rocks child in whatever way is appropriate and comfortable while parent sings “Rock-a-bye-baby” song, BUT, replace the word “baby” with the child’s name, and at the end, instead of “down will come baby, cradle and all” sing, “and I will catch child’s name cradle and all.” The parent can challenge the child to look at their eyes throughout the song, and repeat as appropriate. (T E R)

Row, Row, Row Your Boat (almost)

Child stands or sits between two adults. Adults hold hands making the ‘boat’. Child puts their hands on the adults’ hands as they row the boat to the song. Have the child facing a parent and ask them if they can look into their parent’s eyes the whole time, singing the song:

Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream,

Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily child’s name is such a dream!

Repeat as you want. As a variation, the eye contact can “power” the boat, with the adults rowing when eye contact is established, and stopping when eye contact is broken. (T E R)

Run to Mom (or Dad)The therapist sits in a chair opposite parent. The child stands in front of the therapist, facing away from the therapist and towards the parent. The therapist holds on to the child, arms around the child’s waist, fingers laced, and challenges the child to run to their parent, who is waiting with open arms. Child, of course, eventually breaks through the therapist’s arms and makes it to the arms of their parent. This is best done when the child is reasonably comfortable with the therapist and is better for younger children. (T)

Silly Faces

One person makes a silly face at the other person, then the other person copies it. They take turns. This one can also be done in a group, passing the silly face around the group. (E M)

Special Handshake

Parent and child come up with their own special handshake to use when greeting each other, or whenever they want.

Stand-up – back to back

Two people sit down on the floor back to back with knees bent and feet on the floor. They interlock their arms, and try to stand up. This is better for older children and will not work if the size between the people is too different. (T)

Stand-up – face to face

Two people sit down on the floor facing each other with feet touching toe to toe, and holding hands. They try to stand up together. This is better for older children and will not work if the size between the people is too different. (T)

Staring Contest - Don't BlinkTwo people stare at each other in the eye and try not to blink. First person to blink loses. (E)

Staring Contest - Don't Laugh

Two people stare at each other in the eye and they try to make the other one laugh through making funny faces and/or sounds. First one to laugh loses. (E)

Thumb Wrestling

If you do not know how to play this, ask someone. Make sure it is all in fun and not too competitive. A good way to engage your child in non-threatening touch. Good for older children. (T)

Touching Body Parts

One person calls out a body part, such as “elbow” and then everyone touches elbows. This is good both for dyads and larger groups. (T)

Touch Guess

One person closes their eyes and the other person touches them as lightly as they can on their bare skin and they see if the person can feel it. Then they trade. (T)

Tracing Shapes or Letters on the Back

One person traces with their finger a shape or letter on the other person’s back, and that person has to guess the shape. Then they switch. I usually start out with piece of paper with six shapes drawn on it (e.g. square, circle, triangle, cross, star, zig-zag) and have the participants pick from that. When they demonstrate proficiency with this, they then use numbers or capital letters. (T)

Twinkle Twinkle (almost)

To the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star adults sing to child:

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

What a special boy/girl you are

With (say some things about the child) e.g., long long hair

And a bright sweet smile

Strong strong legs

And a smart smart brain

Twinkle, twinkle little star

What a special boy/girl you are.

The adults in the room can use whatever special qualities about the child that they like. They can touch the child as appropriate on each body part that they are talking about and can trade off coming up with positive attributes of the child. (T R)